I shall never again force myself to do a task that I am uncomfortable with, have no interest in, and have no time for because that is what "good" team members do. A team is not about towing the company line. It is about working together, adding strength to strength till the whole is stronger then the parts. It doesn't leave a person behind, feeling inadequate and useless, questioning their own value.
I shall never again let someone dictate how I interact with others. I am a mature adult. I know what works for me and what doesn't and I do not need to be lead, like a child, to new experiences. When I am ready for a new experience I will seek it on my own, under my own terms. I will make my own choices as what I want to do and when, and how.
I will not continue with an activity that no longer gives me joy for fear I will be forsaken. A true friend will follow me where ever I go, find joy in my joy, and never forsake me when my interests diverge from theirs.
I will be me. It was a long hard road, through childhood depression and attempted suicide, to find the me that I am. I am strong because of that fight and I will not allow anyone to chip away at that strength by trying to force me into a different mold. Other's will have to take me as I am, will have to take my strenths, my weakness, my good days and my bad.
"To thine own self be true" says the bard and that is asvise that I, Lauria, will be taking to heart.
Lauria - what a wonderful post!!
ReplyDeleteI know only too well exactly what you feel, & that unfortunately not all team members chose to play as a team.
It sounds as though you have battled hard to get where you are. Don't let anyone undermine that - EVER!
Stay true to yourself my friend :)
Thank you Deb!
ReplyDeleteThe past year and half has been some ride, and not a happy one. But I'm getting it back together now and will be stronger because of it. :D
Lauria, I was fascinated by your tiny basket in your profile pic on Ravelry and ended up here at your blog! Reading your post brought tears to my eyes and even more as I type! I can so relate to what you have said! A true friend will find joy in your joy! Always be true to yourself and I pray that you find not many friends that love you just as you are, but those few very special ones that will love you just as fiercely whether you are right or wrong and even if you wear bright purple and have too many cats when you are older!!:) Many hugs to you!! Monica
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you! That is one of my favorite things to quote to myself. To thine own self be true! I feel it is an on going battle to protect who I am, and not let others try to manipulate or destroy that. You go girl! Be strong!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the words of encourgement. I need all I can get! :D
ReplyDeleteA great and very healthy decision!
ReplyDeleteGo for it!!!
Lauria-love, I relate to all of your promises to yourself.
ReplyDeleteHere's too a successful and true-to-thineself 2011 for you.
Love,
Tasha