Promise to myself

I shall never again force myself to do a task that I am uncomfortable with, have no interest in, and have no time for because that is what "good" team members do.  A team is not about towing the company line.  It is about working together, adding strength to strength till the whole is stronger then the parts.  It doesn't leave a person behind, feeling inadequate and useless, questioning their own value.

I shall never again let someone dictate how I interact with others.  I am a mature adult.  I know what works for me and what doesn't and I do not need to be lead, like a child, to new experiences.  When I am ready for a new experience I will seek it on my own, under my own terms.  I will make my own choices as what I want to do and when, and how.

I will not continue with an activity that no longer gives me joy for fear I will be forsaken.  A true friend will follow me where ever I go, find joy in my joy, and never forsake me when my interests diverge from theirs.   

I will be me.  It was a long hard road, through childhood depression and attempted suicide, to find the me that I am.  I am strong because of that fight and I will not allow anyone to chip away at that strength by trying to force me into a different mold.  Other's will have to take me as I am, will have to take my strenths, my weakness, my good days and my bad. 

"To thine own self be true" says the bard and that is asvise that I, Lauria, will be taking to heart.

Christmas shopping for the Grinch.

OK, so the person I'm talking about, hereafter known as "The Relative",  isn't really the Grinch.  In fact Christmas is a great time for me and my family.  It's a time to get together and reminisce, stuff our self with goodies without guilt and most importantly celebrate the birth of our saviour Jesus Christ.  Christmas is foremost a religious holiday for us.

But before that is the shopping, which I am just now finishing up.  (Yes, I'm one of those people.)  I love shopping for presents, plotting and planing the perfect gift.  The one that will make the receivers eyes light up with joy.  For me the phrase "It's better to give then to receive"  Isn't just a platitude, it's a way of life.  I LOVE giving gifts, helping out someone in need...except when it involves The Relative. 

Don't get me wrong I love The Relative with all my heart, it's just that she has a pathological aversion to accepting help, including gifts, from anyone.  One time when my sister and I were in town shopping, we decided to get lunch at Long John Silvers and treat The Relative as well.  We got our food, went to her house and spent the whole meal being told how we shouldn't have, and she'd pay us back, and don't forget to remind her.

If she didn't pick it out, there is something wrong with it.  If you don't do it the way she does, you don't know how to do it.  If it's new finagled...new finagled being anything that was invented after she was the age of two..she wants nothing to do with it.  Over all doing anything, or giving anything, to The Relative is a nerve racking experience.

This year I decided to get her a syrup dispenser.  This one to be exact.  She's been using one for all my 35 years and before as a sugar dispenser.  The lid to hers has a crack and will fall off without notice, so I thought this would be good.  It has half a chance of being liked at any rate.  With anyone else it would be a sure hit, but with her I don't know.  She needs a new one, but will she use it?  She has, after all been using the other since the last ice age. 

All the worlds a blogging...and now I am too.

So, why a blog?  

Because my life is eclectic.  I'm more then a jewelry artist, or a writer, or a spinner.  I'm an explorer, always learning new skills searching out new things to try.  Some things I stick with, some I don't.  Some things I go away from, then come back to from time to time.  And some things I realize I don't have the supplies or equipment for and put on hold while I squirrel away what I need. 

I tried forums and found myself heart broken when I had to leave a forum full of friends behind because my interests evolved.  I tried facebook and twitter, and plurk and found myself frustrated by the low word count allowed. 

So here I am a blogging.  Not sure I'll have much to say at the start, I'm still finding my way around here.  But I'll give it a go.